How To Write A Love Letter To Yourself [6 Steps]

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Have you ever wondered how to write a love letter to yourself? 

Don’t worry, me too! I had no idea where to begin and what to write about. And I felt so silly for writing a dear me letter to myself.

One day I jumped over my shadow and started writing a short emotional letter to myself. From there everything fell into place.

It just felt right and I regret not having written a love letter to myself earlier.

But are you wondering how to write yourself a love letter if you’re saying things that are unnecessarily mean, counter-productive, and just plain unhelpful to yourself?

Truthfully, I also used to

  • Criticize myself when I made mistakes
  • Second-guess my decisions
  • Compare my life to others
  • Feel unhappy and on edge

Since I learned how to write a love letter to myself, this inner dialogue of negativity, low self-esteem and self-doubt stopped. 

And today, you will learn how you can get there too! 

I’ll explain how to use positive love language for yourself by writing a self love letter (in just 6 simple steps).

How To Write A Love Letter To Yourself In 6 Steps [For Beginners]

Here’s a quick overview on how to write yourself a love letter. These 6 easy steps are perfect for beginners like you who want to get into the habit of writing a self love letter.

I will go into more detail below.

  1. Find your safe place
  2. Focus on your needs in the present moment
  3. Use sensory descriptions
  4. Use kind words
  5. Add positive affirmations
  6. Allow yourself to receive and believe it

Disclaimer: Some of the links here are affiliate links and I may earn if you click on them, AT NO EXTRA cost to you. I hope you find the information here useful! Thanks for reading.

dear me letter to myself

Why Write Yourself A Love Letter

Self love letters are so worth it! Learning the art of how to make love notes is a huge improvement when it comes to your personal growth. 

Often, you forget that the most important relationship you have is the one with yourself.

This relationship can affect 

  • Your mood
  • How you show up with friends and family
  • What you value
  • What you think about other people

And trust me; you deserve to be the best version of yourself! How on earth can you be kind to people if you’re not kind to yourself? 

When you write a love letter to yourself regularly, you can help with that! 

Benefits Of Writing A Love Letter To Yourself

The benefits of writing a love letter to yourself are endless. Once I got into the habit of writing a love letter to myself, my life basically turned from negative to positive. 

The effect of reading and manifesting a love letter to self are truly amazing.

  • Recognizing how wonderful you are
  • Feeling appreciation for all the great things you have achieved
  • Shifting your negative thoughts and feelings into positive ones 
  • Focusing your energy on positive emotions, inner peace, and change
  • Seeing the bigger picture
  • Looking at difficult situations from a different perspective
  • Coming up with creative solutions
  • Being kinder and more compassionate to yourself
  • Becoming a better person every day
  • Setting yourself up for true happiness and joy

What Do You Say In A Love Letter To Yourself? 

Writing a self love letter should be a letter of encouragement to yourself. Think about: 

  • What makes me a great person? 
  • What have I achieved?
  • Why can I be proud of myself? 
  • Whose lives have I positively impacted? 

Focus on what you’re currently feeling, thinking, or dealing with. Then, use this opportunity to look for the positive in the situation, find creative solutions, and remind yourself how far you have come. 

When I was learning how to write a love letter to myself, one of the biggest mistakes I made at the beginning was not being honest about where I was at that moment.

Instead, I wrote what I thought I “should” write. 

This is something I see other people doing too. 

The truth is, you don’t have to be perfect or put on a show for yourself. You don’t need to write about how great you are (although it doesn’t hurt haha)! 

The most important thing is that you write a love letter to yourself from the heart. No one else needs to read those notes.

Now, let’s jump into how to write a love letter to yourself.

How To Write A Love Letter To Yourself: 6 Easy Steps

Still wondering – how can I write a love letter to myself? Especially when the time and place isn’t right. 

There are many different ways you can write yourself a love letter. It may even depend on how you’re feeling or what difficult situation or thoughts you may be dealing with. 

But these steps will give you a good starting point for how to write yourself a love letter. 

The first self-confidence letter to myself is so different from what I write now, so take it easy on yourself (we all start somewhere).

Step One: Find A Cozy Spot or Safe Place To Write

One key component of writing a love letter to yourself is being vulnerable and honest. You can’t do this when you’re in a public place or surrounded by distractions. 

So, find a cozy and private space where you feel comfortable expressing your innermost thoughts without judgment. 

When I write love letters to myself, I like to light some candles and incense to create a soothing atmosphere. Maybe that’s something for you, too? 

Step Two: Write Based On Your Own Needs In The Present Moment

This isn’t a time to write what you think you “should” write. It is also not a time to compare yourself to someone else or develop an ideal version of yourself. 

Your love letter should be tailored to your current needs and written in the present moment.

So, take some deep breaths and clear your mind before writing so that you can express yourself authentically. 

Step Three: Use Sensory Descriptions To Make It More Real

When writing your letter, try to make it as vivid and accurate as possible by using sensory descriptions. 

Describe what you feel, see, hear, smell, and touch. 

This will help to ground you in the present moment and make the experience of writing a love letter to yourself more powerful and meaningful. 

Step Four: Use Kind Words In Your Writing

My love letters to myself are like positive psychology. In my opinion, no one can be as kind to me as myself (check out these self compassion journaling prompts).

I have the power to control how I treat myself.

When you speak to yourself, it can be easy to fall into negative self-talk or become overly critical. 

However, when you are writing a love letter, this is not the approach you want to take.

Instead, write as if this was your best friend, and they will read everything you think about them. 

It’s also important to focus on the kind of person you are when you’re writing. Just because there is an external issue that you’re dealing with doesn’t mean your internal qualities are any less valuable

So, write from a place of self-love and appreciation and your letter will quickly turn into an encouragement letter to self that has a big impact on your future.

how to write yourself a love letter

Step Five: Add Positive Affirmations Wherever Needed

Remember, a love letter to yourself should be filled with positive affirmations that make you feel empowered and confident. 

This means whenever you find yourself writing something negative or self-deprecating, take a step back and reframe it more positively. 

For instance, if your internal dialogue says, “I’m not good enough,” replace this with a statement like “I am strong, capable, and worthy of love” in your letter.

Or a simple “I’m not having a good day today” can be replaced by “I have the power of turning this day into a good one”. 

Do this as often as you need to throughout your letter, and you’ll be amazed at how powerful these positive affirmations can be! 

More powerful affirmations for you:

Step Six: Allow Yourself To Receive & Believe It

When you finish your letter, don’t just put it in a drawer and forget about it!

Instead, allow yourself to receive the words you wrote by reading them aloud and believing what you said. 

Even if it doesn’t feel authentic at the moment, repeating these positive things to yourself will help to reprogram your subconscious mind. 

When you do this regularly, you’ll see a shift in how you perceive and feel about yourself on a deeper level! 

Related: How to create a self love routine (in 6 steps)

How To Write Yourself A Love Letter – Conclusion

So there you have it — six simple tips for writing yourself a love letter that will help you boost your self-confidence and navigate tricky situations in life. 

Writing a love letter to yourself also reminds you of the fantastic person you are and constantly fuels you with positive energy. 

So, don’t be afraid to take some time to do this for yourself and get creative! 

More Tips On How To Write A Love Letter To Yourself Successfully

I have a few more tips on how to write a love letter to yourself if you’re still not convinced that you can do this (even though I’m sure you will be pretty good at it).

What To Include In Your Self-Love Letters

Here are some helpful things you can include in your love letter to meet you where you’re at! 

Positive Affirmations

Amongst all the negative thoughts you have swirling around in your head, it can be a good idea to write down some affirmations that directly contradict them. 

For example, if you’re thinking, “I’m not good enough,” write something like, “I’m worthy and capable of anything I put my mind to.” 

The more you do this, the more you will start to rewire your subconscious thought patterns. You may even notice yourself thinking about these things more frequently throughout the day. 


In a sea of negative thoughts, seeing the good in life can be challenging. Shifting your focus and attention to the things you’re grateful for in life can have a powerful effect on your mood. 

There could be something that happened earlier today or a moment that made you smile. Or perhaps there is something from your past or someone you know you are grateful for. 

Writing down these moments of joy and gratitude will make it easier to access whenever you’re feeling down. 

Set Goals & Dreams

Your love letter is an excellent opportunity to write down goals and dreams. 

Think about what kind of person you want to be, where you want to be in 5 years, and what you want to accomplish. Learn here how to set goals in 3 simple steps.

Take time to visualize this and write it down in detail (I like to use a goal planner for this).

The more you do this, the more precise your goals and dreams will become and the more motivated you will be to take action. 

Manifesting your goals and dreams anchor your ‘why’ and remind you of your purpose when things get tough.

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Focus On Your Amazing Qualities

We’ve all got them!

Whether you . . . 

  • Are an incredibly kind person
  • Are a funny person
  • Know a unique skill
  • Have a knack for problem-solving
  • Are helpful to others
  • Make people smile
  • Are good with children or animals

. . . writing down your exceptional qualities will help you focus more on the positive. And they’re a powerful reminder of your uniqueness and value.

Give Yourself Credit Where Credit Is Due

You’ve inevitably done many beautiful things in life that you can be proud of! 

Whether it was something you did when you were 10 years old, something you did yesterday, or anything in between, taking a moment to reflect and give yourself credit where credit is due can be constructive in boosting your self-confidence. 

So list all the things you’ve achieved, big and small! This will help remind you how capable, strong, and special you are. 

And if you can’t think of anything, try pretending you are looking at your life from the perspective of a friend. What would they be proud of you for, and what kind words would they say about you? 

We tend to hold ourselves to standards we would never hold our friends to. So, doing this exercise from this approach can help you see things you may not have seen before! 

I hope my guide and tips on how to write a love letter to yourself have encouraged you to sit down and put pen to paper. 

Get yourself a beautiful journal and pen that you like to use and take some time out of your morning routine or evening routine to write down some kind words. 

When I first got into writing a love letter to myself, I started by writing a few notes during my miracle morning routine. This helped me getting into the habit of practicing to write.

It will feel awkward at first writing yourself a love letter but trust me, once you start, your words and thoughts will just flow naturally and soon you will see the positive change this has to your life.

FAQs On How To Write A Love Letter To Yourself

Is It OK To Write Letters To Yourself? 

Are you wondering, is it OK to write letters to yourself? Of course, it is! It’s one of the best things you can do for your personal growth. 

Writing love letters to yourself can help improve your life by appreciating yourself, remembering what’s important to you, and setting goals for yourself.

How Do I Write A Letter To My Younger Self? 

Do you want to know – how do I write a letter to my younger self? Forgive yourself for what you have done in the past and praise yourself on how you mastered life with the knowledge and experience you’ve had back then. 

Share with your younger self what you have learned over the years and what insights you have gained.

About The Author Of How To Write A Love Letter To Yourself

Saskia is a mom, blogger, and freelance writer. She loves sharing tips on self-care, personal growth, and productivity & organization. Find out more about her or get in touch with her here.

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